Local Raver Can Never Remember Which Marcus Is Which, Knows One Is Definitely Dead
- Crimmu$
- 4 hours ago
- 2 min read
VANCOUVER, BC — Local drum and bass enthusiast Ryan “NeuroRyan” Fisher once again found himself in a state of existential crisis this weekend after failing, for the hundredth time, to correctly differentiate between UK drum and bass legend Marcus Intalex and Toronto jungle icon Marcus Visionary—though he remains “pretty sure” one of them is dead.
“I think I accidentally mourned the wrong guy,” muttered Fisher, gripping his drink. “What if I meet him and say, ‘Huge loss to the scene,’ and he just thanks me?”
Fisher, who has been attending drum and bass nights since 2008, confidently declared Marcus Visionary the deceased one last year—only to be proven wrong when Visionary himself was announced for a local show two weeks later.
“That was an awkward one,” admitted Fisher. “I was in the crowd telling people, ‘This guy’s a legend, rest in peace,’ and then he got on the mic. I nearly had a stroke.”
Despite his ongoing confusion, Fisher is certain that Marcus Intalex, revered for his contributions to liquid and deep drum and bass, tragically passed away in 2017. However, he remains deeply unsettled by the fact that he can never recall this information when it matters most.
“I need a system, man,” Fisher muttered, frantically scribbling on a napkin. “Okay, so Visionary is alive because he can still see the future… but wait, does that mean Intalex is intellectually dead? No, that’s grim. Maybe it’s like—one does jungle, one did liquid, so if I imagine a jungle with a river running through it… no, that just makes them merge into one super Marcus. Shit. This is worse than the Andy C and Adam F fiasco.”
Witnesses report that Fisher was last seen at a drum and bass night confidently telling a group of newer ravers that Marcus Intalex once dropped a fire set at Shambhala 2019. When confronted with the reality that Intalex had already passed away by then, Fisher quickly changed the subject to how much he hates jump-up.